1. |
Proem
00:46
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Stanley Twardowicz on his relationship with Jack Kerouac.
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2. |
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Spending our nights moshing, breathing smoke others exhaled.
Oh I wish they could see instead of thinking we failed.
In time we'll all die and rest in peace with all the others.
I'll see you up there.
(In time I will see you. Maybe that's not true.
In time I won't miss you. I know that isn't true.
Friends and family comfort me,
Say that time spent in this lacuna
Is nothing compared to an eternity.
I know mine will be lackadaisical, painful,
Bereft of those loved by me and gone before me.
Well, I guess we'll all die some day.
I told myself not to hurt.
I told my self not to hurt,
But i do more than
You could ever know.
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3. |
Diem Perdidi
03:25
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I am not a ghost, but I wish that I could be.
I am not a demon, but there are demons inside of me.
I no longer wish to be such an invalid.
I'm a goner, too silently dysthymic.
Sailing, sailing forever...
My heart's disconnected.
My mind's not together.
Wearing pain on my wrists,
Uncovering answers when I clench my fists.
An insomniac's day dream
Is just a nickname for reality,
So let me sleep a couple of days,
Because I'm getting quite tired of this place.
Closing back doors to the thought that i am not alone.
No matter where i am I'm never home.
So love me forever but I am a cancer,
Or hate me forever, but I'm still here
Letting myself down.
I feel so Goddamn lonesome. My nerves are shot.
I could go outside and make friends, but I'd rather not.
O God, can anyone trust anyone any more?
Are You there only so I can ask, "What am I here for?"
Be who You will.
Kill who You kill.
I can't stay mad at you,
So do what you do.
Why aren't you here when I most need you?
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4. |
Dystopia Beach
02:20
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Every morning I'm asked if i took my Prozac.
I promise I'll be ok.
I'm going to go sodomize.
I know I'm a fuck up.
I can get better.
I'll be a better fuck up
Maybe by next year.
Is it true I am growing up?
I feel as though I am shutting down.
Let's pretend that we're ok
Until we are okay.
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5. |
Keeper of the Trees
01:24
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Break my bones.
Leave them on the hill.
It's not my fault I'm not allowed to feel.
I act so fake.
This is not my smile.
Take what's expected from me.
Place it in a book like wet leaves.
Let them never dry and be forgotten.
Like my nebulous dreams
Beautiful yet rotten.
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6. |
SUMMER '12
01:38
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All we do in life is look for attention. Open our eyes until we reach the place we have no longer a need to see. We stretch out our fingertips as high as we can, lifting our steal-built ribcage, allowing us a few final breaths. We take flight, inhaling the new air incense we smell so strongly our eyes try to invision it but just cant wrap our minds around the concept. Same with science; they study me and observe my every movement as if I am some sort of monster in the shadows or animal crying out in the wild. I am in my own world. Not where the wild things are, but where the wild things aren't.
And this is where the wild things should be!
No one around me to help and no one around me understands. I live on my own trying to survive with every bit of strength I have. I open my eyes and look at them and hope that they see me for who I am and not what they want. I am not a monster, just a man. A kid, a boy, I am something more.
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7. |
Dog Nails
01:38
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I know you hate who I am. I'll decide who to be. I am not a ghost, but I think I'd rather be. Just don't want to end up like him; underground. I saw my friend and put a flower on his chest. I know it will grow.
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8. |
Lacuna Enigma
01:45
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I spent too many days in a hospital bed
With too many thoughts swirling around in my head
You’re making your way to the river where
You’ll whole punch pockets and chew at your hair
You’re making your way to the river
Take me to the river where
You’ll laugh with your cigarette breath
Take me too the river where
We’ll make new shadows
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9. |
Saudades
00:48
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there's no english word for this. it's described as a deep nostalgia, or melancholic longing for something or someone loved and now gone. To me this feeling means happiness so consuming that it depresses the ego.
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10. |
i wanna be a ghost demo
04:01
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I can't believe what's going on
Sour neck, faked smiles and cuts on your arm
This is too real, I am not real
I cannot deal. I cannot deal
Forget you
Forget everyone
I wish this
Never began
I should probably do something
I used to do everything
Now I am nothing and I can't do anything
I want to feel something
You were my everything
You left me with nothing now I would take anything
I just want to go home but I don't know how
I just want to go be a ghost now
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11. |
Light Eyes Might
02:50
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I know that i disappoint
I know i'm not what you wanted
and i'm sorry
You're my only son
I always break her heart
when she tries to fix mine
I still write my epitaphs for friends who leave just memories
I still bruise burnt skies, burst my eyes and hope she knows that i'm making progress
I dont trust my memories, they all include ghosts writing back to me
And I dont bruise that easily any way
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12. |
Patching Up Lungs
03:29
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I would be lying if I told you I was ok.
I can't stand it.
I can't stand it anymore.
I can't take it.
I can't take it anymore.
I hate my friends.
I hate my family, but most of all I hate myself,
Because you're gone and I'm broken,
And these pills are my only friends…
Because you're lost and forgotten.
I don’t think this is how it ends.
I can't cope with this.
I can't cope with this anymore.
I can't live with this.
I can't live with this anymore.
I lost (hate) my god.
I lost (hate) my country, but most of all I lost (hate) myself,
Because you're gone and I'm broken,
And these pills are my only friends.
Yes, I'm lost; soon forgotten.
I don’t think this is how it ends.
Patch up my lungs while you're holding my heart, because I find it hard to breathe while were apart.
Let's pretend that we're ok until we are ok.
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13. |
Frozen (by Chalk Li)
01:46
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This song is by Chalk Li. They're better than us.
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14. |
i wanna be a ghost
03:23
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I can't believe what's going on:
Sour neck, faked smiles and cuts on your arm.
This is too real. I am not real.
I cannot deal. I cannot deal.
Forget you.
Forget everyone.
I wish this
Never began.
I should probably do something.
I used to do everything.
Now I am nothing and I can't do anything.
I want to feel something.
You were my everything.
You left me with nothing. Now I would take anything.
I just want to go home, but I don't know how.
I just want to go be a ghost now.
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15. |
David Adewumi
03:18
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16. |
diem perdiddykongracing
02:15
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17. |
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God knows I can survive, but I'm no good at feeling alive.
I can't stand it.
I can't stand it anymore.
I can't take it.
I can't take it anymore.
I hate my friends.
I hate my family, but most of all I hate myself,
Because you're gone and I'm broken,
And these pills are my only friends…
Because you're lost and forgotten.
I don’t think this is how it ends.
I can't cope with this.
I can't cope with this anymore.
I can't live with this.
I can't live with this anymore.
I hate my god.
I hate my country, but most of all I lost (hate) myself,
Because you're gone and I'm broken,
And these pills are my only friends.
Yes, I'm lost; soon forgotten.
I don’t think this is how it ends.
Patch up my lungs while you're holding my heart, because I find it hard to breathe while were apart.
Let's pretend that we're ok until we are ok.
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Athletes. New Hampshire
We're an emo group from NH. We died. oh well.
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